The Need For Certainty

We all have a need for both certainty and uncertainty in our lives and in our relationships.

These needs may be fulfilled in different ways for different people.

Sometimes in a relationship it’s the need for certainty that creates stress or anxiety when it’s not being met.

Think about what meets your need for certainty in a relationship. For some women, certainty in a relationship may look like feeling safe to share something vulnerable with your partner. For others, it may look like financial security. Or certainty that your relationship is moving forward. Or feeling certain that you are loved.

There may be times in your relationship when you feel like your need for certainty isn’t being met. Instead of feeling triggered and allowing your vibration to dip, look at how you can meet your own needs for certainty in other areas of your life. Think about something you can do regularly each day for yourself. How can you show up for yourself in a regular and loving way. Make a commitment to yourself to add one or more daily rituals to meet your need for certainty. What stabilizing activities can you do daily? Make this commitment for the week and at the end of the week see if you want to make the same commitment.

Some things that help meet my need for certainty in my life are going to my favorite coffee shop for coffee every day on my way to work, doing several visualizations every night before bed, and going to yoga after work each evening and on weekend mornings.

Celebrate yourself for meeting your needs in this way.

When you start to meet your own needs, your partner will mirror this. When you prioritize your needs in this way, he will respond by prioritizing your needs.

How can you meet your need for certainty in your daily life? Make the commitment to make meeting your own needs a priority.