Are You Present?

While being driven and goal oriented is great in your career, it is not necessarily your best skill to have in your romantic relationship.

You are good at making a plan for success and following it.

You have a deep belief in your ability to reach your goals.

But what is missing is that as you focus so much on your goals and meeting your objectives you are spending a lot of your time in the future in the mode of planning and doing and pushing things forward and you are not staying in the present moment.

When you are focused on what is ahead and what you need to do and what everything means, it is impossible to really be present, to be connected with your emotions and feelings and to share them.

You may not even notice all the amazing ways your partner is fulfilling your needs and making you happy, because you are not present enough to experience them. Maybe you are looking for a certain thing in your relationship to feel more connection. But by not being fully present, you don’t see all the things he is doing that if you just stopped the thoughts spinning in your head and noticed you would feel more connected to him. For example, maybe you are waiting for him to give you more words of affirmation and you are so busy being in your head and focusing on how to get your needs met and what will happen in the future with the relationship, that you forget to notice the ways he is connecting with you…many hugs and kisses, holding hands, helping with problems you are experiencing, the cup of coffee he made you. It’s like you are so in your head and laser focused on looking for one thing that you forget to notice everything else around you.

What can you do?

Slow it down…slow down your mind and your thoughts and drop down into the space of your body…really be present with your feelings. A great way to do this is through using your senses…taste, touch, smell, visual…really be present with something that stimulates these senses. Enter the space of the now, today, this moment.

Give yourself a reminder to be present…maybe a word or phrase you can say to yourself daily that will trigger you to be present in the moment and connect with your senses and feelings.  Being present creates a shift and brings a new energy to your relationship.

Your connection and sharing of your feelings will help him connect with his own feelings.  You will start to see him for the amazing partner he is.