Are you clear on your “why”?

Have you ever really wanted something but either you didn’t stay motivated to do the steps to make it possible or you took some steps but then sabotaged it?

For example, you really want a loving relationship but you find yourself stuck and not doing the things to bring you closer to a loving relationship…

-you procrastinate setting up an online dating profile

-you set up a profile but are inconsistent in responding to people on the dating site

-you find excuses to not schedule dates

-you go on many dates but find reasons to reject everyone

-you cancel plans to attend singles events

-you get into a relationship and sabotage it by finding fault with everything he does 

Most likely what is happening when you don’t follow through with what is needed to reach your goal or you sabotage it once you do reach it, is that you have a conflict inside of you.  And you may be subconsciously attaching more pain than pleasure to having what you want.  

You may not even be aware of this inner conflict or that you are attaching more pain than pleasure.  It may stem from a past hurt, sadness, trauma and you are linking that same pain to having this in your life.  

Some examples are: You want a great relationship but you feel you don’t deserve one or that you are not worthy of love.  You associate being in a relationship with pain rather than pleasure…stress, anxiety, hurt, sadness, disappointment… especially if this is how you felt in a past relationship.  

What can you do?  

First, become aware of any inner conflicts and any associations of pain to what you desire.  

Second, write down why you want this.  Get super clear on your WHY and journal about how having this will enhance your life and give you massive amounts of pleasure.  This is your biggest motivator for taking action to achieve what you want.  Until you are very clear on why having this will bring you an abundance of pleasure, your inner conflict will continue.  

Third, visualize yourself achieving your goal and experiencing the massive amounts of pleasure.  How do you feel?  What does your life look like now with this?  See yourself in it and feel it. 

Once you recognize your pattern, get clear on your WHY, and see and feel yourself living in the massive amounts of pleasure, you are ready to achieve anything you desire.