How your assumptions affect communucation

Healing hurt, pain, anger, and insecurity from past relationships is important to be able to lovingly communicate with your partner. 

If you ever struggle with communication in your relationship, you may be unknowingly making assumptions.  

Your assumptions about what you think your partner is saying play a huge role in how you hear and respond, without you even realizing what is happening.

An assumption can be based on your past…past hurt, past relationships that didn’t work out, things that trigger you, your thoughts about men and relationships based on your past, your fears because of past events.  

When you assume things are a certain way or will work out a certain way, these assumptions affect and even define how you hear what your partner is saying.  

For example, if you were hurt in a past relationship because you always felt alone and not cared about or loved, you may have had a past partner who always put himself first.  Deep down, you may assume this to be true of all men and/or your current partner.  So in a discussion with your partner when he comes home from work and says he forgot to stop at the store because he had a stressful day, you may assume he didn’t stop because he doesn’t care or even want to help you.  

Or if you were hurt in a past relationship because your partner was having an affair with a coworker, you may assume he didn’t stop after work for you because he was busy flirting with his coworker.  

In both of these instances, you may respond from hurt, anger, fear, distrust…rather than taking your partner at his word that he forgot because he had a stressful day.  This may even escalate into a full blown argument because neither of you feels heard or trusted.  

Assumptions are generally from a past behavior you have experienced or observed, and are generally not true.  They override your ability to truly hear what your partner is telling you, drive your response, and break down loving communication in a relationship.  

Becoming aware of this is a huge step towards loving communication.  

If you need help overcoming hurt, pain, or insecurity from a past painful or toxic relationship and want to experience compassionate love, reach out to me for a free 30 minute clarity session.