Keeping the lines of communication open is critical

Keeping the lines of communication open can be critical when your teen or young adult is suffering from mental illness or addiction. 

It is important to be that safe space for them to come to, no matter what they are dealing with.

Here are some tips for being that safe space for them:

• Be a good listener.  As a parent, it can be easy to forget to be a good listener.  You may be so busy talking about what you want them to do and not do or what you think about something that happened, that you forget about listening.  Listening allows them to feel seen and heard and improves your connection, ultimately improving your relationship.  And when you let go of the need to fix things, you send a message that you trust them to figure things out.   

• Let go of the judgment.  Judging can be with your words but it doesn’t have to be.  It can also be with body language, such as rolling your eyes, crossing your arms tightly, or sighing.  When you validate some of your child’s feelings they are experiencing (the ones you agree with) and minimize others, you are placing your own judgment on which circumstances are worthy of these feelings.  Let them know that you understand whatever they are feeling is real.  

• Offer your support without trying to control.  They may just want to know you are there to listen and are a loving support in their life.  

When you listen without judgment and give your unconditional love, your teen or young adult is much more likely to come to you in difficult situations.  They will trust you and feel safe.  

Sending love and light,

Debbie