Grieving the loss of how your child was prior to illness
When your teen or young adult has mental illness or addiction, one big thing you are going through is that life is much different than before.
Your child is much different than before. How they communicate, their moods, their expressions, their abilities.
Your relationship with them may be different too.
Grieving the loss of how your child was prior to illness and how life with them was, is an important process.
One that is needed in order to accept how things are now and enable you be in the best place you can be to deal with the challenges, support them, and have peace for yourself.
Like grieving any loss, there are stages you will go through-
- Shock/denial – in this early stage your state of shock can serve to help you cope with the loss
- Anger -in this stage you may ask “why me?” or blame others
- Sadness – here you feel the magnitude of your loss, and may feel like no one else understands what you’re going through
- Acceptance -this doesn’t mean everything is okay, it is about learning to live with and adjust to the new normal
- Bargaining – this may involve bargaining with ourselves or a higher power and attempting to compromise; finding meaning
- Something new or meaningful – this may be challenging because you may wonder what good could possibly come from your current situation.
Many times people stop short of the last stage. But when you create something new that is meaningful, you can become driven to move forward by this new meaning. Sometimes this can be in the form of a spiritual awakening, finding life purpose/soul purpose, or deepening relationships with loved ones. I believe this last stage of grief is critical to healing.
Can you relate to this? Where are you in your journey?
Sending love and light,
Debbie