Are you feel stressed during interactions with your teen or young adult child and it seems like you are fighting against each other when it comes to their mental illness or addiction?

If you feel stressed during interactions with your teen or young adult child and it seems like you are fighting against each other when it comes to their mental illness or addiction, you are not alone. 

Often they do not see things the same way you do.

You start off on the same side… both going to battle against their illness so they can have a good life.

But somehow things shift and you feel like you are at war against each other.

When this happens, it is important to remember that they do not have the same emotional capacity as you due to their illness. 

You want them to be happy. They want that too but they don’t see the path to get there, even when you tell them what they need. 

While you can’t make them do things your way, you can work on having a more positive experience with them. 

I know it’s so hard when it feels like the war is against you. But what really is happening is that you are there and a safe person and they are angry at their illness, their predicament. 

If the thought of spending time with them makes you feel stressed and anxious, your brain is likely fixated on how things have been each of these difficult times. 

So, before spending time together, try this: Visualize in your mind what your ideal time together would look like. What would you be doing together? How would you feel? Imagine a lighter conversation than the normal heavy conversation and maybe even see yourself smiling at the joy of being with your child and how nice it feels. Keep doing this visualization often until it becomes as familiar as your memory of being at odds with each other. 

If this is something you are struggling with, let me know in the comments.

Sending love and light,

Debbie