Grief when your child has mental illness or addiction

When you have a child with mental illness or addiction, it may feel like your entire world has been turned upside down.  Life is different now than it was prior to their illness and addiction.  They may seem like a different person. You may have a different relationship with them. You probably have different thoughts and struggles.  They may not be on the same path with their lives that they once were or that you hoped for them.

All of this may be causing you to feel pain, sadness, anger, overwhelm, hopelessness. 

What I realized when my son was still here and struggling with his illness and addiction, is that there was a loss that I needed to work on grieving.  Even though he was still with me at the time and we had a close relationship, there was a loss I was experiencing.  He had such a normal childhood and early teen years and many friends and accomplishments and I had high hopes for him.  Life didn’t turn out the way I had hoped or expected.  His actions and reactions, behaviors, and choices were different.  I sometimes wondered where that little boy and young teen was…was he still there inside?  All the childhood memories came flooding back and I began to grieve the loss of who he was and how things were before his illness and addiction.  I knew his heart and soul were the same, but his behaviors, thoughts, actions, and abilities were different.  

Everyone’s child is unique.  And everyone’s loss they are experiencing is unique. 

I have created a PDF on the stages of grief to help you identify and understand what you are feeling with this type of loss.  Send me a message if you would like a copy.

Sending love and light,

Debbie