Forgiveness

Do you hang on to something your teen or young adult did that was wrong or something he or she said that felt hurtful?  Do these past experiences seem to affect your relationship now?  Does a part of you feel you can’t or shouldn’t forgive them?  

Forgiveness is an act of self love.  It is for you.  And not forgiving also impacts your relationship with your child because when you hold onto past anger and resentment, these emotions permeate your present communications and interactions with them.

The anger, resentment, and hurt literally become poison in your mind and body.  

Forgive your son or daughter not because what they did was okay but because you deserve to be free from the suffering related to not forgiving and you choose to prioritize your loving relationship with them.  

Remember that whatever they did had nothing to do with you.  Nothing others do is because of you.  It’s their own stuff coming up that they are dealing with.  

Forgive for your own healing.  To be free from the hold over your emotional state that this hurt has been causing. Free so you can move past it and no longer have it resurface into your daily life.  

Think about when you are watching a movie…see the picture on the screen change…what if the previous image was still there underneath the new one?  A different result, right?  This is what happens in your present moments when you hang onto past wrongs.  

You were born with the natural capacity to forgive.  It is a learned behavior to hold on to the anger and resentment.  

Compassion and understanding lead to forgiveness.

And when you can forgive and move on, you do wonders for your relationship with your son or daughter.  

If you are having a hard time forgiving…

💫Imagine how it would feel to forgive your teen or young adult.  How would you feel?  What would your life be like?  How would it be different?  

💫 If this is hard to do, imagine yourself wanting to forgive (imagine the desire to forgive).  Appreciate that at the time of what happened, they were doing all they could with the resources at that moment.  Make it a practice to imagine desire until you can imagine how it would feel to forgive them in the exercise above.  

💫Ask yourself is there is a belief that, if you did forgive, you are robbing yourself of something.  If so, locate that belief in your body, add compassion and love to it, and repeat the exercises above. 

You have truly forgiven when you don’t have a strong emotional response related to the past wrong and you feel at peace.