When we try to control another person, it is two people fighting for control, and we repel them

Maybe it may seem like the way to get your teen or young adult to change is to try to control them. 

But this will probably not work, and here’s why…

We don’t actually have control over another person. We only have the illusion of control.

When we try to control another person, it is two people fighting for control, and we repel them.

They feel as if you are fighting against them and don’t feel inspired to come closer to you, to open up communication and share more with you.

And they don’t feel inspired to do the things you’re trying to push them to do.

In fact, they not only start to distance themselves over time, they may not do the things you want because of the battle of control.

This will not be good for you, them, or your relationship.

While control doesn’t work, there ARE things you can do. 

You can help them make a plan for their well being. 

You can encourage them. 

You can inspire them.

You can teach them.

You can guide them.

You can be a supportive and compassionate listener.

I know it can feel very hard when they are doing things you don’t agree with.  You may feel frustrated. And you may need to set boundaries for yourself. 

But remember that you don’t have control over another person and attempting to control may cause your relationship to deteriorate.  

So focus on the things you can do, not the things you can’t do.