Your mindset matters… your beliefs are related to your pain

Since I started as a coach, one thing I have noticed is that one of the biggest things holding people back is their mindset.

When they believe something they want isn’t possible for them, everything they say or do relates to how and why this thing won’t happen.

So by their actions or inactions, they continue to stay stuck in the result they do not want, because everything they are doing is in support of that.

This generally means they stay stuck in their pain.

Whether it’s emotional pain or physical pain, if they don’t believe anything else is possible, that belief ensures nothing else will be possible.

How does this impact you right now as a parent of a teen or young adult child with mental illness or addiction? Here are some examples…

For example, if you have been experiencing fear for a very long because of the situation with your child’s mental illness or addiction, this pattern of fear may become familiar to you. Each day you are consumed with what will happen next, what if they return to the hospital, what if they use drugs again…this can become your predominant state of thinking. You may begin to believe that you don’t have the ability to change this, and that in order for you to feel differently, something on the outside needs to change…that your child needs to change or their situation needs to change. You don’t consider that you could learn how to live in peace because you do not believe it is possible for you unless the outside world changes. 

Another example, if you have been arguing with your child daily over taking their medications and it is affecting your relationship with them, you may believe that in order for the two of you to become close again that they need to take their medications first. Because you believe that something outside of you needs to change in order for you to have what you want (a more loving relationship) then you won’t consider things you could do to make having a closer relationship possible because you will be waiting for change outside of yourself to happen first. 

Mindset can be very powerful. How you experience your world is based on your beliefs. Your beliefs are what give meaning to things. Your beliefs can keep you stuck thinking you cannot change how you feel.

But you can, because you can change your mindset. So your beliefs can empower you to move forward and experience a change. 

Start with noticing whether there may be a belief you have which could be holding you back from experiencing less pain/more peace/more joy. If so, what it it?

Sending love and light, 

Debbie