When you have a teen or adult child with mental illness or addiction, you may find yourself living in fear much of the time

When you have a teen or adult child with mental illness or addiction, you may find yourself living in fear much of the time. 

I understand, as I was there too.

I realized that behind the fear was a need for certainty—certainty that my son would be okay, that he would be safe, and that things would work out (the way I wanted them to). 

The problem is there is no absolute certainty. We can never be certain when it comes to other people, places, or things. 

As I learned from Tony Robbins, if we make certainty our top need, we will never be happy.

I realized that certainty had become my top need, so every time I felt myself wanting and needing certainty, I replaced it with something else. 

What really helped me was replacing certainty with contribution to others outside myself.  

Certainty can also be replaced with love and connection. 

Spending more of your time and energy consciously focusing on contribution (such as helping others, contributing to their lives, being there for your children or partner, serving those in need) or love (such as loving relationships in your life, meeting your need for love, self love, loving your partner or your child), can bring you relief from the need for things to be certain in your life. 

And this can bring you more happiness and less fear. 

Let me know if you can substitute something for your need for certainty. 

Sending love and light,

Debbie