How you view yourself as a parent has a direct impact on your self acceptance and ultimately your joy and peace in life
How you view yourself as a parent has a direct impact on your self acceptance and ultimately your joy and peace in life.
What are your beliefs about yourself as a parent?
If you are putting yourself down because you feel your teen or adult child’s mental illness or addiction somehow makes you not a good parent, or if you believe that their actions or inactions are somehow related to you, you will probably feel miserable.
If the view you have of yourself as a parent isn’t positive, ask yourself what are your rules about parenting and your role as a parent?
Many times our rules aren’t even ours!
Ask yourself, is this rule yours or does it come from someone else or your past such as from childhood, society, friends, family, media, etc.
You have the choice as to whether to keep this rule or change it to something else that would better serve you. To something that truly reflects your beliefs, not that of others. Authentic to you.
Awareness of your beliefs and rules is key and a step towards impactful change for your own wellbeing.
I know that all this can feel difficult when you have a loved one suffering from mental illness and/or addition.
Life does not always give us what we are expecting and can bring many challenges that make us question our ability to handle the experiences, our child, and the pain.
When my oldest son, Alex, was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder at age seventeen after being hospitalized for nearly a month and then became addicted to drugs and alcohol, I wasn’t prepared for how to deal with what I would be up against over the next nine years and the fear, anxiety, and self-doubt I would experience.
In my new book, Finding Peace and Purpose amidst the Tears, I share the many difficulties I experienced with my son’s mental illness and addiction, as well as how I supported him, fought for him, and loved him through his journey. I tell how, at times, my life felt consumed by his hospital visits, treatment center stays, drug use, and battles about his treatment. Despite the challenges, we maintained a loving relationship and I connected with my own love, compassion, and understanding and found a path to peace.
I chronicle my story of love and loss to help parents on a similar journey feel they’re not alone, offering hope for peace and healing, and how to continue loving their child and themselves through it all.
Sending love and light,
Debbie
Finding Peace and Purpose amidst the Tears: My Journey of the Love and Loss of My Son through His Mental Illness and Addiction by Debbie Gail Zane, now available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble online, Apple iBooks, and other online retailers!
For more information, visit https://www.debbiegailzane.com/