Keeping the lines of communication open

Keeping the lines of communication open can be critical when your teen or adult child is suffering from mental illness or addiction. 

Here are some tips for being that safe space for them, so they will feel they can come to you, no matter what they are dealing with-

• Be a good listener.  As a parent, it can be easy to forget to be a good listener.  You may be so busy talking about what you want them to do and not do or what you think about something that happened, that you forget about listening.  Listening allows them to feel seen and heard and improves your connection, ultimately improving your relationship.  When they come to you to share something, give them the space to talk.  

• Let go of any judgment.  Judging can be with your words but it doesn’t have to be.  It can also be with body language, such as rolling your eyes, crossing your arms tightly, or sighing.  When you validate some of your child’s feelings they are experiencing (the ones you agree with) and minimize others, you are placing your own judgment on which circumstances are worthy of these feelings.  Let them know that you understand whatever they are feeling is real.  

• Offer your support without trying to control.  They may just want to know you are there to listen and are a loving support in their life.  To feel like they have someone in their corner.  Don’t worry that you can’t fix it – you can’t fix their illness.  But having your loving support will mean more to them than you know. 

When you listen without judgment and give your unconditional love, your teen or adult child is much more likely to come to you in difficult situations.  They will trust you and feel safe.  

Are you struggling with the challenges of having a son or daughter with mental illness or addiction?  I have developed a unique process which provides holistic tools and strategies for navigating grief, loss, pain, hopelessness, overwhelm, and fear that can result from this experience.  In my coaching program I walk with you on your journey, helping you regain your natural emotional resilience and self love and find peace and purpose in your life.  This almost always positively impacts your relationship with your child.  Message me to find out more.

Sending love and light,

Debbie