Communication

In past relationships years ago I used to think that every time there was a problem in the relationship that we needed to have a long talk. Then I would tell him everything that was going wrong or that he was not doing. There were many “you” statements and a lot of blame. It always escalated into arguments and I ended up feeling disconnected from him and the relationship and feeling worse than before the “talk”. 

Now I know better. This type of communication doesn’t work in a relationship. 

It is not about throwing around blame and needing to be right and making him feel bad. 

That doesn’t feel good for him, and probably won’t feel good for you either. 

He will probably either shut down and walk away, or get defensive and angry. Neither of which are productive or increase connection and closeness in the relationship. And neither of which will get your needs met in the relationship. 

Both people need to feel that their needs are valid and need to feel heard. This can be done by communicating your feelings, your needs, your boundaries in a loving and safe way. 

One of the reasons I became a relationship coach was because I wanted to help you learn the skills for building a loving and fulfilling relationship. One where you can feel safe to communicate your needs and feelings and work through disagreements, all while still building connection in the relationship. You see, life isn’t always smooth and perfect…as humans we are all imperfect. We can’t expect everything to go perfectly in the relationship but we can learn how to communicate better so our relationships grow deeper. Our relationships are such an important part of our lives.