How important is your relationship with yourself?

As a life and relationship coach I help many women create happier relationships…with their partner and everyone else in their lives, including the most important relationship…the one with themselves.  

One reason (and there are many) it’s important to have a great relationship with yourself is that this affects the space from which you enter into a relationship.  

Do you get into a relationship from a place of need or desire?  From a place of lack (you are not complete or can’t create your own happiness) or abundance (your life is beautiful and you are complete and happy and have love within you)?

Having a strong relationship with yourself, knowing how to make yourself happy and meet your needs, and loving yourself fully and completely, is the place you want to be in before attracting a relationship.  

Why?

If you feel incomplete and unhappy and think that the only way your life will be happy is to be in a relationship, you may end up settling for someone who isn’t right for you or who doesn’t treat you with respect and love.  And overlooking red flags so putting up with unhealthy behavior.  

If you don’t fully love yourself, you will be searching outside of yourself to fulfill this need but the people you attract may not love themselves either.  Because we tend to attract people who are mirrors of us.  And someone who doesn’t love themselves doesn’t have love to give to another…they are searching completely outside themselves to fulfill this need as well.  

When you come from a place of lack or scarcity, you feel urgent to make something happen in dating and relationships…rather than allowing things to unfold at a healthy pace.  Fears come up more because your insecurities will be higher since you don’t have the foundation of happiness and love for yourself within you.  

And your fear and need may cause you to suppress your authenticity…and instead become the person you feel the other person wants you to be.  Creating an image of yourself based on what the other person wants will not lead to happiness in a relationship.  It will feel like work for you.  And it will not allow for a deep meaningful relationship because you aren’t showing up as who you truly are.  

No amount of outside love and happiness will replace the love and happiness you create for yourself.  So invest in developing a deeper relationship with yourself.  For support on this journey, reach out to me.  I am offering a discount this weekend which will end at midnight tomorrow on Mother’s Day.